The Dose
The Dose (usually stylized as The Dose) will be an American Electronic Music band, which will almost gain control over the planet. Band Members The members are: * Lana da Silva Freud, a Brazilian woman. She is already famous for being the ex-vocalist of the Samba Metal band LANA . That and for being selfish and pretentious. After recovering from her hospitalization due to a fight with Dalal from the band The Jiminy Crickets, she decides to join this band, in response to the new formation of LANA, a Brazilian band featuring an American lady and a Norwegian man. * Darkus Herikk. He is already famous for being a professional wrestler. He is referred to as Darky. He thinks that joining this band is a good idea to get revenge on everyone who wins against him. * Piitaa Kokoro DesuDa. He is already famous for being an anime commenter on Youtube. His real name is Peter. He uses a ridiculously fake Japanese accent. * Sanilla Joselión. She is already famous for being a somewhat controversial blogger. She is a self-proclaimed social justice warrior and claims to use the band to promote equality for everybody. She speaks in a horribly fake Spanish accent (sometimes mixed up with French). * Gastrilla. It is an evil slug, found in Darkus' backyard. Sanilla decides that it should be a member of the band because slugs have no gender, and since there are two women and two men already, the obvious choice for a fifth member is someone with no gender. The name is a pourtmanteau of gastropod and Sanilla. Lana hates it because she things that molluscs are gross, especially slugs. Formation After the Dalal Incident, Lana decides to take revenge on her, and hires the professional wrestler, Darkus Herikk, to go and kill him. However, Dalal had gone into probation in prison, and Darkus recognizes her as "the hot chick from that Brazilian band" and says she is amazing and mad talented. Lana, flattered, by his comments, tells him that not even Anderson, her ex-boyfriend, had ever complimented her so much, and ask him if he is dating anyone. Darkus, however, responds that he is asexual, which makes Lana feel a bit upset, but she has to deal with such a problem. Darkus says that he will not kill Dalal, because he also happens to be a fan of The Jiminy Crickets. Lana gets even more upset. To make up for it, Darkus sings the chorus of their hit "Nichy Come Back". Lana is impressed with his vocal abilities and ask him to join a new band. Now all they needed were three more people starting with "R", "E" and "U", so she can name the band after herself again: FREUD. Darkus hates the idea and says that they should name the band something else, unpleasing Lana for the third time. Lana will cry for three days straight because she thinks Darkus is being cruel. Despite this, she insists with the band idea. Darkus searches on Wikipedia for someone else to join, and he finds Sanilla Joselión's page. They contact her on the "Ask me Anything" Tumblr section on her blog, and she agrees to join. They give themselves the placeholder name "LSD". Later on, Piitaa finds one of their videos on Youtube, which has like 302 views or something. He dislikes the video and comments: "urusaaiiiiii!!! baka to baka to baka yaro!! this is nothing but shit, a bad Copy of many singles I've heard before, the noise from a BBQ grilling up a Garbage Cube would be better. Seriously, this shitty music must die, your three deserve to be buried underneath the grave, honesly who gives a .... about this? I'm really Sceptical this would ever be a hit despite all the fuss you make... know why? BECAUSE YOU FUCKING SUCK!!!!! AND YEAH: EXCLAMATION EXCLAMATION EXCLAMATION EXCLAMATION EXCLAMATION TO EMPHASIZE! oh and since that chick is brazilian... VAZA DAQUI!! KUSO!!!! URUSAAIIIIII!!!! baka no baka no baka aho!!!! watashi desu hates this shit!" Sanilla responds that he is being sexist, homophobic, racist and a bigot, and asks if he could to any better. Darkus responds that he'd punch him in the nose irl if he said that to him. Piitaa uploads a private video on Youtube covering the song and sends the link to their email. They immeadiately hire him. Finally, Darkus one day finds a slug hiding behind his left ear when he is sunbathing nude in his backyard and sends a picture to his fans on Snapchat. Sanilla sees the pic and proclaims it as the official fifth member of the band, like explained on the introduction. Gastrilla uses its slime to write the name "The Dose" on a wall, so that's how they name the band. Some day, in the middle of the night, Gastrilla shows up with a strange machine, which is capable of manipulation sound frequencies, in such way that it is capable of mind control. The members love it and use the machine to attempt to take over the world. Discography This time, there are no promotional singles, since Sanilla considers that a form of promoting song inequality. 'Neutron Puppets' Their debut album. Their first single is Trapped in the Syndrome. It is used as an experiment, made to test the machine. The frequencies of that song manipulate people into overplaying the song on several streaming services, to never change the radio station when it's playing, and to buy digital copies of it. The song gets out of control on the charts, breaking every record from every single in existence. Even Adele's "Hello". They get so much money from this song alone that they even feel to lazy to promote more music. However, Piitaa accidentally tweets this: "KAWAIIII minna did YUU hear BORUDU BANDUU's song "UNDALAINEDUBORUDUNESU??" Its like soooo OISHIII, DAIJOBU MINNA-SAN!!! Yuu gaisu should TOTALRY baaiii ittu!! AI RIRII RIRII RIKE IT! Congrats for being at #NII just biroou #TRAPPEDINTHESYNDOME I'm so HAPPIII i rabu #BOLDBAND so machu they in maikokoru rabu rabu rly puraudu! :3 :3:3 ^^ *----------------* " I assume Twitter will extend their character limit. Anyway,' Bold Band' feel extremely offended by the fact that Piitaa forgot to bold their band's name TWICE, and their single's name as well. They invade one of their concerts and use real life mice and remote-controlled computer mice to attack them. Lana is horrified by all those rats, and they immeadiately play the song "Rodent Freezer", which has the specific niche of making rats stop moving. The idea is Darkus'. Lana can't believe it's actually useful. However, the computer mice end up destroying the equipment they have there. In response to this, they modify the frequencies of the song'' Crafty Box'', just to make people stop buying Bold Band's music, and release it as a single. Because of its very specific use, it's not gonna be the smash hit their previous single, but it still does a great job. They also release Rodent Freezer as a single too, just to annoy Bold Band even further. Their final single, Alibaba, is used to boosts sales for the album. Tracklist: *'Trapped in the Syndrome' *'Crafty Box' *'Rodent Freezer' *Lamps *CD Disco *'Alibaba' *Plier *Hydrogen Peroxide *We're Beautiful, Surely *So (Cake Day) *Birthday Suits 'Eccentric Stuff' Their second album's lead single will be Who's that Person?, a buld-up for the album's release, which will break all existing album records all over the world. Even stuff like Most Successful Rap Album, Most Sucessful Mexican Album, Most Sucessful Album Starting with the Word "Banana", Best Music Video, Tastiest Tomato of All Time, Best Tree Ever, Most Perfumed Dog of the Decade, Mister Universe, and Miss Universe. After the album's release, they also promote the singles Dungeons and Crayons, all which generated a lot of money for the band members. Sanilla tweets: "Ji fans of mi corazon! gracias a todoux leaouxs amigos, all of youx are mucho amazingón, hola hola hola! Pero no forget to buy our prójimos singles, O K? sin énbârgò ustedes son mucho mucho cool y stuff, amo every single one of yéaoux por purchase our mïsiquitas, arriba!! we spend jours y jours just for yeau! jajajaja #ESPANYOLLA #AMAZING #THEDOSE #LADOSE #HUSTISAPARATODOS #IGALITÉ! " Lana asks them when are they gonna actually rule the world, since all they they're getting is money, which is cool and all, but their true goal is supposed to be to take over the planet. The other three human members agree, but Gastrilla says that it's better to wait for the next album to do that. Sanilla insists that they should obey the slug, so that's how they do it. Lana then modifies the frequencies for A Mega Poker to discourage people from buying or listening to the works of The Jiminy Crickets and the new LANA, but Gastrilla remodifies them to make people tweet the hashtag #LanaSucks. Lana is puzzled by it, but pretends to not care, even though she will cry for approximately three weeks because of it. The final single, Aluminum, encourages people to buy Wild Lascivia Whistle's Bitches Ain't Got Nothing, which will be considered the worst song of the decade. Rumor has it that Piitaa received something from those girls to do it. At the end of the year, many of their singles will be featured in year-end mashups. Some people are puzzled by the fact that they feel forced to keep repeating the parts where The Dose's songs are sampled, just like it happened in the previous year with the hits from Neutron Puppets. After much investigation, their dirty tactics are discovered. Lana has a panic attack. All copies of their album are confiscated, their music is put down from all streaming services and digital stores, and listening to their music or owning any copy of their material becomes illegal by international law. All of their records are removed, the charts are retconned with all of their work deleted, and they even remake the year-end mashups, replacing their music with new songs. Gastrilla immeadiately creates a fake machine, which is confiscated too. All members from both Wild Lascivia Whistle and The Dose are arrested, except for Gastrilla. Tracklist: *'Dungeons' *'A Mega Poker' *Rose Dude *'Aluminum' *'Who's that Person?' *Why? *'Crayons' *Love Pulses *iDoser *Question Mark 'Underground Music' Gastrilla keeps the device hidden somewhere while it plans the breakout for the other members. In the underground (literally), it produces the entire third album, except for the vocals, obviously. All of the songs, with no exceptions, are heavily manipulated to make anyone who listens to the music to worship The Dose as living gods, like in the Roman Empire. Later on, it breakes into prison, gives sleeping substances everybody in there except for the four members of the band, and sets them free. It takes a REALLY long time to do it because... well, it's a freaking SLUG! Lana decides that maybe Gastrilla isn't so gross after all. Sanilla gets really mad and calls Lana an egotistical, heartless pig. Lana calls her a hypocrite for saying that she would use the music to promote equality but all she does is tweet annoying SJW stuff and make money out of their work, since she's the laziest member of the band with no musical talent whatsoever, who's only part of the band because Darkus is a fucking idiot. Sanilla goes wild and throws the frequency device on Lana out of anger. Darkus calls her an idiot and almost punches her in the nose, but Piitaa stops him because he is scared they could cause another scandal and they would all end up arrested again. Darkus then decides to punch the fake asian man, but he threatens him with a paper shuriken (which Darkus thinks is real because it's painted silver). Sanilla calls Darkus a sovinistic pig. Gastrilla analyses the device and says that the it has been severely crippled. Lana asks if Sanilla is happy about what she did, but before they fight again, Gastrilla plays the new song: Here We Are. It explains that that song, along with everything in the album, will make people worship them forever, but they need to add the vocals. Darkus will sing on the band's work for the first time since Trapped in the Syndrome, because Lana wants to do all the singing herself, but Gastrilla, the new leader of the band, demans his vocals again. Lana is forced to sing tracks #3 to #7 all by herself, though. Sanilla is upset because she can't post on her blog anymore until they become the rulers of the universe. They sell their music illegally. However, Lydia's piercings end up producing a sound that nullifies the effects of all the songs, so it doesn't work out. No one gets why. Not even the gastropod mastermind, which destroys an entire laundry room out of rage (which included many of Lana's clothes). So this album is huge failure. There are obviously no official singles, since the album is pirated by the own band. Also, Gatrilla can only communicate using slime, so it takes a long time on each sentence. I hope the human members are patient enough. Tracklist: *Here We Are *Dosers *Badass Gastropods *Slugs Are Awesome *Lana Loves Slugs *In Fact She Is a Slug *SHE WORSHIPS SLUGS *Cereal Love *In a Brave New World 'Melody' Following the failure of Underground Music, and the damage done to the frequency device, they cancel out their plans to rule the planet, and decide to go back to making money out of niche music. This one will be also sold illegally in the black market, and since the songs are addicting, it kind of works. Melody Monstruosity is their unofficial single, and so is ❤'', a song Lana writes to promote herself as an Incredibly Precious Diva. Lana wishes to release a song called "Lucy is a Loser", but Gastrilla removes the idea from her brain using a remixed version of ''Duck Duck ''+ ''Who is Shakespeare?. Tracklist: *'❤' *'Melody Monstruosity' *Ink *Wire Duct *Duck Duck *Doritos *Glimpse *77 Sewers *Eleven Limes *Who is Shakespeare? 'Bedrock' After the nice amount of cash they gain from their second black marketed album, they decide to record a new one. However, the machine explodes because they end up doing something wrong with the programming. The explosion noise manipulates all of them into becoming cavemen. This time, they are allowed to release music legally again. Piitaa suggests they name their first single "Cavemen". Lana jokingly says that the SJW will probably consider that name misogynistic and will want to change it to "Cavepeople" or some other bullcrap. Sanilla calls Lana an idiot and says that that name sucks too, because it promotes human privilege, so she renames it to Cavebeings. The other singles are We Make Fire out of Rocks, Arte Rupestre (written by Lana), Prehistoric Love, Pterosaur and Paleobeat. For some reason, listening to this music heals the effect from all off their previous evil music, but it's still considered illegal. They end up being nice people, and Lana dates the guitarist from Running Through the Mirror. Many artists decide to collaborate with them for the gimmick of having a bunch of cavemen performing music on a track. Gastrilla also is featured on a single from Cryptids. Tracklist: *'We Make Fire out of Rocks (ft. The Pointless Sisters)' *Archaeology *'Paleobeat (ft. Kevin Knight)' *'Cavebeings (ft. Carlos & Barbara)' *'Arte Rupestre (ft. Eye Three)' *'Prehistoric Love' *Stone Tools *Gorham Cave (Gibraltar) *Neanderthal Dance *'Pterosaur (ft. Cryptids)' Category:Future Bands